Thursday Night Mowing League 2025: Week 8 -- We Will Not Listen To The Rat Poison!

This league WILL NOT let this rat poison invade our brains

I'm still hot over this headline from my employer. Yes, I'm allowed to have my own opinion on topics within this company, and as the commissioner of the world's largest residential mowing league, it's my duty to speak up to right these wrongs. 

Not a single mowing team came to me this week to say they were taking this advice from some physician out of Cincinnati. 

Rat poison. 

In fact, based on the number of reports this week, this is one of the biggest weeks for reports in league history. Our numbers continue to rise. More league members are buying the Polo(s) of the Summer. More people are telling me how much this league means to them. 

And we even have league members who are playing hurt. Do we have multi-millionaire league members who could say the hell with it and hire landscaping teams to take over? 

100%. 

Do we have league members who have bad knees and shoulders and backs that are banged up from living life who get out there and mow their asses off?

100%. 

This league is everything that is right with America. This league IS America. THIS is the America I want to live in and I suspect it's the America you respect. 

— Mark in Tennessee wouldn't miss a league day even after a minor surgery: 

Playing hurt (surgery this morning to excise a basal cell carcinoma off my nose), but the stripes are down thanks to Toro. Razor sharp edges by Echo. Clean up by Stihl. Re-hydration by Gatorade this week. Not gonna get a DNM.

Here comes Indy Brad! 

It's been interesting to watch the evolution of Indy Brad as a mowing competitor. He's always had the nice lawn, the great property, the tools of the trade, but Brad has had some trouble cutting through the noise of guys like Timmy2Cuts & Fink, who have gone on to win national championships. 

2Cuts is great at making vintage MTV-style music videos while Fink won his national title on pure effort & determination. 

Indy Brad might've found his niche: drones. 

Nothing catches the Internet's attention like a freshly striped lawn from a couple of thousand feet in the air. 

Brad even threw on rapper Kevin Gates' banger "I Don't Get Tired" (I'll be honest, I'd never heard the song) as his background music to his latest drone footage. That, to me, is a clear shot at 2Cuts and Fink while stating the obvious: This is going to be a dog fight to the finish line in early October when we crown the 2025 national champion. 

Indy Brad means business. 

Commissioner report: I lost two points last night

I took a DNM, which I'm not proud of, but I had to coach a rec ball game. Then, I had to go to the airport to get my mother. Add in some managerial work around here and my night didn't stand a chance to include mowing. 

That said, the yard is dialed in and I'm starting to see some thickening in areas that I've patched. Our dog, Daisy destroyed this area from hauling ass out of the back door and cutting the corner around the garden beds and grinding into the grass like a greyhound trying to catch a rabbit. 

I'd say we'll be looking good by early July. It's thickening up by the day. 

This is also a good shot to see Mrs. Screencaps' perennial garden that I'll put up against any No Mow May weirdo's garden. Come at me, weirdos. 

Also, yes, we lost two arborvitae trees over the winter. The replacements have some catching up to do. The plan is to let those bad boys grow to 10 feet and then top them into a hedge. The full arbs are just over a year old. If you plant them this summer and want a faster hedge, just ignore the distance requirements on the tag. Plant them closer together. 

2025 All-Star Break Announcement

Mark your calendars for next Thursday, June 19 as the all-star break. Yes, it's Juneteenth. 

I will be going on a golf trip on Friday and ignoring social media for a few days, so I think the 19th makes the most sense. I don't want you guys pumping out a bunch of content and then I don't post the content. That wouldn't be right, so we'll call it the break. 

BUY! BUY! BUY! 

Get the Polo of the Summer. These are selling like crazy. BUY IT HERE — CLICK!

Mowing Reports From Across The United States and Beyond! 

— Nick in Caledonia, OH shows off his wood and stripes! 

Just a quick note to say you know your a proud TNML veteran when you lay down stripes in your wife's summer horse pasture. Also, your league shirt has made it to the cutoff stage of its life cycle. Thanks to Kubota for the stripes and Natty Light for post mow refreshment.  

P.S. The would pile was 90% all cut,split and stacked by me. Even at 52 I still enjoy cutting wood. DO HARD THINGS.

Thanks for the greatest daily column on the net.

— Benny in Yukon, OK rarely misses a league day: 

Happy League Night!!! The #31 Leinenkugel Ego team got in good hard work today. The grass is in full growth speed, causing the team to conduct a mid-week contingency mow on Monday to keep the lawn manageable. Today I'm back on regular rotation. Thanks to Ego power, Garage Beer, Raycon, and Sirius XM.

Stats:

84 degrees, sunny, humid, and light south breeze

Garage Beer Lime provided hydration this week

Hair nation on Sirius XM with the soundtrack

Enjoy League Night and your beautiful fresh lawns on Friday morning!!! 

— Sean C. in Granger, IN tells me: 

I’m still struggling with lack of rain, as well as not enough shade.
I’m watering quite a bit, but the tornado we had in April took down some neighbors trees that were crucial in giving my yard some shade during part of the day. I think it’s going to take a couple rain-soaked days to get me green again. The stripes are there, but so is the yellow.
But one dog who doesn’t care is little Butters. She’ll fetch no matter how the yard looks.

— Nicholas in PA sent in his mow: 

— TJ in Ada, Michigan: 

Sharing a TNML update from West Michigan.   When I moved to Michigan, 15 years ago, a co-worker told me Michigan had two seasons:  Winter and July 4th!   

We are at peak mowing season in West Michigan…77 degrees, low humidity and extended daylight.    Perfect!

Thanks to TNML for bringing sanity to an insane world.  

— Adam in Nebraska checks in: 

Our team had this week circled on the calendar and  hit the set up perfect.   Green to checkered flag of 91 octane and hot noon sun mowing.    The #3 Briggs & Stratton Craftsman TNML mower made some great stripes.   Went with the Two Cut method, last pass was on the fourth setting and the grass was striped, and celebratory beers were had.   No points racing for us, we unloaded , took the pole, kissed the trophy girl, smashed a few beers in victory lane, and bailed out long before the lighting

Cheers to the TNML from Nebraska.